Thursday, December 24, 2009


If you have been following this blog you've probably wondered where I went--not that I was very regular to begin with. I've been revamping my website: The focus is much broader now to include help for toxic and negative thinking.

Of course eating disorders and depression fall in this category so the previous web pages are still available.

Follow me now on:

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Freedom from an Eating Disorder Comes Often through Forgiveness

Unforgiveness is guaranteed to hinder our growth because an unforgiving spirit is an evil spirit that causes devastation. It plants roots of bitterness in our heart. It’s like pouring acid in us, a caustic substance that eats through our heart. Why is it so hard for us to “forgive and forget” the injuries of life? My mother owes me. I lost my childhood because of her neglect and drunkenness. I hate her.

God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.

Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper.”[i] It is our responsibility to pull out that nail.

Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness. If it was a parent who hurt them, they become that parent, in spite of the fact they swore they never would. Why do you think people who have been abused as children abuse their own children? Why do children of alcoholics become an alcoholic or marry one?

Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.[ii]

What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?

Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.

[i] Sheila Walsh, The Heartache No One Sees, 173, Thomas Nelson, 2004
[ii] Gregory L. Jantz, Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders, 125, Wheaton: Harold Shaw Publishers 1995

Monday, November 2, 2009

Healing from an eating disorder is a purification process.

Healing from an eating disorder is a purification process. First we must abstain from our “drug of choice”—misuse of food. We have a whole other set of challenges facing us. Unlike the alcoholic, who can abstain from alcohol, we must consume food in order to survive. This is a long-term purification process, and it continues as our souls are purged (this is a positive purging) of our deficiencies, destructive thought and behavior patterns, and negative attitudes.
As we allow God to do His work of changing us, He will purify our spirit compassionately through whatever fire or cleansing water He feels is needed. It has been said that pain is not in the change but in the resistance to the change. Try to relax and enjoy the purification process. Our life is made up of change. When we resist change, we resist life itself.

It’s time to put God’s plan ahead of our plan. Living with our obsessions occurs in the dark. We use the darkness to hide our secrets, our hurts, our faults, our fears, our failures, and our flaws. God wants us to come out of the dark into daylight. When we enter daylight, we bring all of our deficiencies out into the open and admit who we really are.

This requires not only courage but also the ability to be authentic and real. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt all over again. It’s the only way to heal and stop the cycle (emotional healing), as well as grow spiritually.

Joshua, successor to Moses, had to complete the job of bringing the Israelites to the Promised Land. Because Joshua accepted God’s promise and depended on God for guidance, Joshua was successful.

In Joshua 7, God made a promise to Joshua and the Hebrews. He said that as long as they were strong and courageous and followed His orders, God would give them victory in battle. Then Joshua discovered that one man, Achan, had sinned against the Lord. He had hidden items in his tent against God’s command (Joshua 7:20-21).
Like Joshua, we know in our hearts God’s promise to us, but we can’t see it actually working in our life. Like Achan, we’ve been trying to hide and cover up things like a secret food habit or negative attitude.

Open your heart and in prayer ask God to help you peel back the layers and help you face head-on those things you’re hiding.

Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Your spiritual life is under attack everyday

Kristin said, “I have been in and out of therapy and treatment programs for too many years to count. I’ve read every self-help book. I have prayed relentlessly to God. Nothing ever changes. For eighteen years, my body has suffered. My pastor told me I was living in the enemy’s camp. This enemy has turned me against myself by clouding my mind and filling me with pain, rage, and anger. He has sent people into my life who abuse, torment, and hurt me. The enemy has done everything in his power to keep me from God. And he is winning.”

Kristin is at war. Satan is very real and hates all that God loves, and that includes you because God loves you. We can all probably say that we have underestimated the spiritual battles that rage around us every day. I always knew Satan existed but thought he’d be spending his time on more worthwhile people, like Billy Graham (well-known evangelist who ranked number seven on Gallup's list of admired people for the 20th century).

As long as we maintain our status quo, Satan will leave us in peace. But when we seek Christ with all our heart and start making changes to our lives, he will go on the attack, and we need the weapons to fight back!

Be aware! Satan will want to cloud your mind as you study the truth! Satan’s goal is to take our minds and hearts off Jesus Christ, then steer us to the “world’s way.” Even Jesus was tempted numerous times by Satan (Luke 4:1-12). Depression is another weapon of his.

Depression is a household word today. Depression is called the “common cold of counseling.” Twice as many women as men suffer from depression. Why? Satan has very cunningly led each person through a series of lies that they believed, and life eventually becomes mental torment.

Laura writes, “I feel myself slipping into a self-absorbed, secluded world. I’m shutting people out. I could break down in floods of tears at any moment. I feel so fragile and insignificant and a nuisance. I’m angry with everybody. I just want to be by myself. My head is such a mess. I’m confused and incredibly depressed.”

To be depressed is to be “pressed down.” There are various reasons we direct our emotions down—or inward—abuse, loss of a loved one, stress, pursuit of thinness, guilt, intense teasing, and/or rejection. Depression can also be a symptom of unbelief. We should to turn to God and ask Him to direct us.

The Bible is full of people with broken hearts and spirits. King Ahab became depressed when he couldn’t get his own way. When Ahab’s neighbor refused to sell him a piece of property, he threw a temper tantrum and became “sullen and angry.” He lay on his bed “sulking and refused to eat” (1 Kings 21:4).

Hannah, a godly woman, became depressed when she had to deal with a combination of unfulfilled longing and a strained relationship over a prolonged period of time. She had a godly husband, Elkanah, who loved her dearly. However, for reasons known only to the Lord, He had closed her womb. Hannah’s struggles with barrenness were exacerbated by her husband’s other wife, Peninnah (Elkanah had two wives). Peninnah had no difficulty conceiving and bearing children, and she “kept provoking Hannah in order to irritate her” (1 Samuel 1:6). For years, she provoked her until she wept and couldn’t eat. Hannah was depressed (7).

One of my favorite promises for trouncing depression is John 8:12: “Jesus said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” Did you get that? Jesus promises that if we accept Him and follow Him, we will never walk in darkness again. That’s another truth!

Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Think of it this way. Your mind is like a computer. In your computer, you’ve probably got years of data collected. In your mind, you have years of rejection, hurt, deception, and anger programmed. You made a choice: to believe the data or not; to delete the data or not.

The word “truth” appears more than 224 times in the Bible. We need to begin to deal with the lies that put us in bondage and replace them with the truth. The truth will set us free. By giving ourselves to Jesus, we begin to see Satan’s power and lies, then we begin to resist him. Dr. Larry Crabb said, “The soul will not be healed without truth.”

It has been said that Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees. That’s not because he is afraid of us. It’s because he knows that the power of God gives us victory over the works of darkness.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says we are to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. If God can say these things about you, then you can say these things about yourself. Start by reminding yourself you are a child of the Almighty God. Truth!

We have to battle directly the enemy’s lies and confusion. The antidote for deception is truth. As you recognize a lie, defend yourself out loud. Those that meditate over and speak God’s Word’s out loud tend to change their thinking and habits faster. Truth changes our thinking, and thinking changes our behavior. Achieving a new way of life consists of repeating positive actions.

Read the following list and find the statements that best describe you. Then speak it out loud in your own words from your heart!

Corrupt Data: I am fat.
Speak it out: I am beautiful! I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
God’s Word: Psalms 139:14; 1 Peter 3:3-4

Corrupt Data: I am dumb and stupid.
Speak it out: I have the mind of Christ!
God’s Word: 1 Corinthians 2:16

Corrupt Data: I can’t! I’ve been sick too long and I can’t get well.
Speak it out: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
God’s Word: Philippians 4:13

Corrupt Data: I am ugly.
Speak it out: I am made in God’s image!
God’s Word: Genesis 1:27

Corrupt Data: Nothing I’ve tried works. I am weak and a lost cause.
Speak it out: I am strong!
God’s Word: 2 Corinthians 12:9; Joel 3:10

Corrupt Data: I am lost. I don’t know how to get back to normal.
Speak it out: I am found!
God’s Word: Psalm 23:1-4; Luke 15:6

Corrupt Data: I am a victim of my past and will never be able to overcome that.
Speak it out: I am a victor!
God’s Word: Psalm 60:12; 1 Corinthians 15:57

Corrupt Data: I am nothing. I am worthless.
Speak it out: I am treasured!
God’s Word: Deuteronomy 7:6

Corrupt Data: I am so scared.
Speak it out: I am safe!
God’s Word: Proverbs 18:10; Psalms 3:3

Corrupt Data: I can never be healed. I don’t deserve to be healed.
Speak it out: I am healed!
God’s Word: Isaiah 53:5

Corrupt Data: I am not loved.
Speak it out: God loves me!
God’s Word: John 15:9

Corrupt Data: I have been addicted to food for over “x” years. I’ll never be free.
Speak it out: The Spirit lives in me—I am free!
God’s Word: 2 Corinthians 3:17

Corrupt Data: No one likes me. You wouldn’t like me.
Speak it out: My worth is in who God says I am!
God’s Word: Psalms 8:5-8

These are God’s Words. So get into His Word (the Bible) everyday. Not only will you begin to see the truth, but also your faith will grow stronger. You will find that over time, your spiritual muscles of resisting Satan will grow, and the battle will get easier.

Speak it out: I am beautiful! I am lovable! I am worthy. I am capable! I’m not just saying that—God says that!

Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

60% of women have some sort of eating disorder

King 5 News: “Health Link” reported a University of North Carolina survey finds 60 percent of women have some sort of eating disorder, and it can take many forms.

Secret eating can be just a guilty pleasure or a serious eating disorder. It all depends.
"Eating a large amount of food in a certain discreet period of time, feeling a sense of loss of control, as if you can't control your eating or stop and then a host of criteria - that several have to be met - such as eating in secret, eating until uncomfortably full, and feeling negative about it during or after the eating episode," said Dr. Jay Ashmore, clinical psychologist.

Then there are calorie prisoners, consumed with counting every morsel. The career dieter's weight is like a yo-yo: going up and down. Ashmore says it can lead to more serious disorders. [This personally was my downfall into a dungeon of bulimia!]

"Anger, stress, anxiety - and that in and of itself or in combination without eating can trigger a binge or overeating or eating when not hungry. Why? Because it just feels good, and you're going to do something that feels good to help you manage that negative mood," said Ashmore.

When food takes over your life, it's time to take control. First, find another more constructive way to make yourself feel good. "Pleasant activity scheduling, whatever that is—taking a job, going shopping, something you like to do, calling a friend," said Ashmore.

Second, cognitive therapy can help women find their core issue that's driving them to medicate with food.

Doctors say if you don't tackle the problem early on, harmless eating disorders can turn into obesity, heart disease and even diabetes. Doctors say just remember you are in control of the food, not the food controlling your moods.

[end of article]

The only thing missing from this article was the fact we need God. . For many of us, our hopes have been shattered. There is no more happiness or joy. The kind of hope and joy we need now is a solid trust in God. It is a sense of absolute certainty that God loves us, cares for us, and will do everything He has promised in the Bible, His Word. Like an anchor, hope in God gives us the strength, joy, and security to heal, one day at a time.

Article title: “Survey: Majority of women have an eating disorder”


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Body Image and Self-Esteem

Why are we so unhappy with our bodies?

I don’t think any of us would disagree that we are under pressure to measure up to a certain social and cultural ideal of beauty, which can lead to poor body image. Images we see daily can reinforce an already negative opinion we have of our body, leading us to believe we are overweight and not able to meet the “perfect” American standard.

Family and friends can influence our body image with positive and/or negative comments. Doctors and other professionals also have a powerful impact on our body image. Their comments may be delivered as health advice, but if misinterpreted, affects how we perceive our body.

We all have days when we feel awkward or uncomfortable in our bodies. The key to developing positive body image is to recognize and respect our natural shape and learn to overpower those negative thoughts and feelings with positive, affirming, and accepting thoughts. Accept yourself. Accept your body. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate your body.

What is body image?

Slowly over time, you developed your body image based on what your family, boyfriend(s), and/or husband(s), coaches, and teachers told you. Add to that thousands of daily media messages from magazines, novels, television, music, and you start to believe that you’re fat or ugly. All these negative thoughts and beliefs can lead down a self-destructive path unless you know how to recognize and cope with them. A woman with a healthy body image respects her body, takes care of her body, and keeps her body in perspective.

What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” It is your overall evaluation of your self-worth and how you value your own attributes. How high or low your self-esteem is depends on how you compare what you’d like to be with how you actually see yourself.

Research shows that girls lose twenty-three percent of their self-esteem between elementary and middle school. A study by the American Association of University Women found only twenty-nine percent of high school girls were happy with themselves.

Psychologists describe key components of self-esteem as how you evaluate yourself in terms of important characteristics like what you are good at, what you are not so good at, and the kinds of situations you prefer or avoid.

Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers, and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way.

“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.” –Martha Graham

Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.