Unforgiveness is guaranteed to hinder our growth because an unforgiving spirit is an evil spirit that causes devastation. It plants roots of bitterness in our heart. It’s like pouring acid in us, a caustic substance that eats through our heart. Why is it so hard for us to “forgive and forget” the injuries of life? My mother owes me. I lost my childhood because of her neglect and drunkenness. I hate her.
God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.
Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper.”[i] It is our responsibility to pull out that nail.
Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness. If it was a parent who hurt them, they become that parent, in spite of the fact they swore they never would. Why do you think people who have been abused as children abuse their own children? Why do children of alcoholics become an alcoholic or marry one?
Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.[ii]
What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
[i] Sheila Walsh, The Heartache No One Sees, 173, Thomas Nelson, 2004
[ii] Gregory L. Jantz, Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders, 125, Wheaton: Harold Shaw Publishers 1995
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