Unforgiveness is guaranteed to hinder our growth because an unforgiving spirit is an evil spirit that causes devastation. It plants roots of bitterness in our heart. It’s like pouring acid in us, a caustic substance that eats through our heart. Why is it so hard for us to “forgive and forget” the injuries of life? My mother owes me. I lost my childhood because of her neglect and drunkenness. I hate her.
God never promised any of us freedom from pain. We can begin to find happiness if we free our mind of resentment and bitterness—put the past behind and see the process as empowering. you can hold that person responsible, harbor hatred, and consequently, carry feelings of anger forever. Or you can begin healing when you chose to forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive again and again—the big wrongs and the little ones. The alternative is to hold on to hatred and bitterness, which eventually will hurt all our relationships. Give yourself grace.
Sheila Walsh wrote, “In my situation, as long as I was unwilling to let go and forgive, there was still a nail in my wrist, and every time I talked to someone about the situation, it cut in a little deeper.”[i] It is our responsibility to pull out that nail.
Many people won’t choose to forgive. They live unhappy lives of bitterness and unforgiveness. If it was a parent who hurt them, they become that parent, in spite of the fact they swore they never would. Why do you think people who have been abused as children abuse their own children? Why do children of alcoholics become an alcoholic or marry one?
Dr. Gregory Jantz says, If the child of the past and the adult of the present are to integrate fully into the person of the future, there comes a time when both must release the hurts of the past. This doesn’t mean that you forget what has been done to you, but that you forgive those responsible, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is the final destination on your healing journey. The road that lies beyond is one of health.[ii]
What is your greatest battle with forgiveness?
What lack of forgiveness or bitterness is still attached to you?
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
[i] Sheila Walsh, The Heartache No One Sees, 173, Thomas Nelson, 2004
[ii] Gregory L. Jantz, Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders, 125, Wheaton: Harold Shaw Publishers 1995
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Healing from an eating disorder is a purification process.
Healing from an eating disorder is a purification process. First we must abstain from our “drug of choice”—misuse of food. We have a whole other set of challenges facing us. Unlike the alcoholic, who can abstain from alcohol, we must consume food in order to survive. This is a long-term purification process, and it continues as our souls are purged (this is a positive purging) of our deficiencies, destructive thought and behavior patterns, and negative attitudes.
As we allow God to do His work of changing us, He will purify our spirit compassionately through whatever fire or cleansing water He feels is needed. It has been said that pain is not in the change but in the resistance to the change. Try to relax and enjoy the purification process. Our life is made up of change. When we resist change, we resist life itself.
It’s time to put God’s plan ahead of our plan. Living with our obsessions occurs in the dark. We use the darkness to hide our secrets, our hurts, our faults, our fears, our failures, and our flaws. God wants us to come out of the dark into daylight. When we enter daylight, we bring all of our deficiencies out into the open and admit who we really are.
This requires not only courage but also the ability to be authentic and real. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt all over again. It’s the only way to heal and stop the cycle (emotional healing), as well as grow spiritually.
Joshua, successor to Moses, had to complete the job of bringing the Israelites to the Promised Land. Because Joshua accepted God’s promise and depended on God for guidance, Joshua was successful.
In Joshua 7, God made a promise to Joshua and the Hebrews. He said that as long as they were strong and courageous and followed His orders, God would give them victory in battle. Then Joshua discovered that one man, Achan, had sinned against the Lord. He had hidden items in his tent against God’s command (Joshua 7:20-21).
Like Joshua, we know in our hearts God’s promise to us, but we can’t see it actually working in our life. Like Achan, we’ve been trying to hide and cover up things like a secret food habit or negative attitude.
Open your heart and in prayer ask God to help you peel back the layers and help you face head-on those things you’re hiding.
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
As we allow God to do His work of changing us, He will purify our spirit compassionately through whatever fire or cleansing water He feels is needed. It has been said that pain is not in the change but in the resistance to the change. Try to relax and enjoy the purification process. Our life is made up of change. When we resist change, we resist life itself.
It’s time to put God’s plan ahead of our plan. Living with our obsessions occurs in the dark. We use the darkness to hide our secrets, our hurts, our faults, our fears, our failures, and our flaws. God wants us to come out of the dark into daylight. When we enter daylight, we bring all of our deficiencies out into the open and admit who we really are.
This requires not only courage but also the ability to be authentic and real. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt all over again. It’s the only way to heal and stop the cycle (emotional healing), as well as grow spiritually.
Joshua, successor to Moses, had to complete the job of bringing the Israelites to the Promised Land. Because Joshua accepted God’s promise and depended on God for guidance, Joshua was successful.
In Joshua 7, God made a promise to Joshua and the Hebrews. He said that as long as they were strong and courageous and followed His orders, God would give them victory in battle. Then Joshua discovered that one man, Achan, had sinned against the Lord. He had hidden items in his tent against God’s command (Joshua 7:20-21).
Like Joshua, we know in our hearts God’s promise to us, but we can’t see it actually working in our life. Like Achan, we’ve been trying to hide and cover up things like a secret food habit or negative attitude.
Open your heart and in prayer ask God to help you peel back the layers and help you face head-on those things you’re hiding.
Read this excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson.
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